The Blizzard of 2018

Well, for the second time this winter usually hot, humid balmy Southeast Louisiana has been blanketed with snow and ice.  On December 8 and January 15 our area was pummeled with appreciable amounts of sleet and snow.  For those of you who are not from this area, you should know that snow is a rare occasion. Like once every 5 or 6 years rare.  Snow that actually sticks to the ground and accumulates is rarer still. And snow that accumulates and sticks around for more than one day is doggone near unheard of. But, global warming aside, it has happened twice within 5 weeks around here.

Usually icy weather around here is just an inconvenience. People still freak out. This time, it has been down right dangerous.  Since this type of thing is so rare, we don’t do well when it happens. No one has a snow shovel or one of the ride on snow blowers like folks up North have. We don’t do snow chains either. And, the state and local government don’t see the need to invest in snow removal equipment for episodes that occur about twice in a decade.  So, when it hits, the whole dang state shuts down. Schools closed, people off work, public buildings closed, runs on the local supermarkets. Let’s just say it would be like a tropical storm hitting in Los Angeles or heat wave hitting Buffalo, New York.

Anyway, it has been interesting here. None of us has been to work since Tuesday. School has been out all week, since Monday was a holiday. Interstates and major roads have been closed.  And of course, the heat went out in our house night before last and we are still working on getting it fixed. It could be worse, though. I am in my Man Cave office, which has a separate heat pump. My wife Jo has been piled up on the couch with three dogs and an electric blanket. My mother-in-law, Nana, lives with us. We were concerned about her at her advanced age. But it turns out, she has an electric heater back there in her room and is keeping it so toasty that occasionally she comes up to the front of the house to cool off.

So, for those of you who “ain’t from around here” , or for that matter, those of you who are, here are some random observations about ice storms in the tropical South:

  1. Why does the heat in the house always go out when it is in the teens outside?
  2. When the heat is out, how can the rest of the house be tolerable, but the toilet seat is freeing?
  3. When it gets cold in Louisiana, why does everybody panic to get their hands on bread and milk?
  4. Why does everybody hear think they have to try to get to work when the roads are iced over, since they can’t even drive when the roads are dry and not icy?
  5. When the frozen precipitation stops, it does not matter how sunny and clear it gets. As long as the temperature is still in the 20’s that crap is not going to melt.
  6. How much Netflix is it humanly possible to watch in a 24 hour period?
  7. When it is cold like this and we are all home bound, people in Louisiana love to cook. The good thing is it doesn’t matter that you have so many leftover they won’t fit in the fridge. Just sit the extra out on the porch.
  8. Remember, when you have a half inch of ice in your driveway that has been in the shade for three days, it won’t melt until the temperature gets well above 32 degrees.
  9. When that half inch of ice does start to melt, remember that it will be WET ice, which tends to be really slick.
  10. How can a 295 lb man make all those moves on slick, wet ice and not bust his ass?
  11. Is there really going to be school tomorrow?
  12. Can we all just take Friday off from work too?

Til next time my friends.